letters_to_crish

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. ..

…my sad picture of girl getting bitterer….
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy?
i didnt think so but im still convinceable.
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i’ll never love you?
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i’m dying to lose it…
i want it
i want you…

here are lines from coin operated boy..love it ..

< coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.>

I will remember you… will you remember me?

Everything has changed. I was changed. I miss the old me.

I’d never imagined that I would love a person this much who had made my life once so wonderful yet so confusing and later so complicated and miserable. I told myself i dont want to live in pain but my stubborn will kept its hope behind the lie that all it wants to do is forget and move on.

its never easy. you’ve  loved someone despite his imperfections though you know its no longer worth it. but a part of you is trying to convince you that maybe you’re wrong.you loved in silence and it sucks. lived pretending that everything’s ok. You dont want to let go but you can’t find the right words to say.until the time finally came and you said it.

But it didn’t make any sense. You don’t know the person anymore. now I will let go. (sigh).. its no happy ending.. but life’s like this.

it’s been almost two years.. a zillion times i told to myself that i’m ok..when in truth, im just tryin to convince myself..yeah, it was really hard to forget someone who’s been really sweet and special to you..though at the very moment i met him, a part of me’s already accepting the fact that he’ll be gone any moment..(ayan, napala!) at least at those romantic moments, im aware of the possibility of my guy turning into a stupid jerk..uhuh…cool ryt? =)

now things have changed..its better now..maybe this is not the end of the story…more pages are yet to come..but one thing is for sure, there’s no reason to cry anymore..thanks to him..I never had imagined that I would fall..

The traffic lights went red..you pulled me towards you..smelled my hair, kissed me, then I said ‘let’s go..’ so you held my hand instead..Yours are the softest..We were singing..and laughing..You didn’t miss a chance to tell me how sarcastic I am..and i liked it..On every stops and turns, my heart would beat a zillion times..I didn’t want to let go of that..Then we went down and walked a few blocks..The streets were quiet.. We’re the only ones awake..I was playing with your eyes..You’re trying to make them look bigger..But you’re hopeless..haha ! It’s four o’clock..We kissed goodbye..Yours are the sweetest..I missed you..Im sorry I didn’t have the guts to tell you that I loved you..Anyway, its all good!

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you’re not what I expected
But you’re the only one who knows how to handle me
And you’re such a great kisser and I know that you agree
I guess there’s just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You’re gonna leave me…
You’re the only one who
Holds my hair back when I’m drunk and get sick
You’re the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you’re not what I expected
But you’re the only one who knows how to handle me
And you’re such a great kisser and I know that you agree
I guess there’s just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You’re gonna leave me…
You’re the only one who
Holds my hair back when I’m drunk and get sick
You’re the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I’ll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just ONE SECONDI felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl
That’s smothering me
Sitting closer than my PAIN
HE knew each tear before it came
And we KISS each other one more time
And sing this LIE that’s halfway mine!
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won’t be fooled by his angel light…

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I’ve fallen down and I can’t do this alone

Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is your’s